How to Make a Horror Movie
by Archica
Summary: Axel is making a horror movie and drags everyone else into it. Various pairings hinted at.


How to Make a Horror Movie

Kairi sat quietly in her computer chair, swiveling slowly, almost unnoticeably back and forth between the potato chip bag on the edge of her bed and her keyboard. Typing up html codes for her web site was boring, but she knew the finished product would be cute and efficient, so she continued her work. Most often, she didn't mind staying at home alone, even on dark, stormy nights. She liked her privacy, and the work she got done when she had it.

A crack of thunder got her attention and she turned her head toward her window. _I left the shade up?_ Through the blurry window she saw the sky light up with a sudden bolt of lightning. She sighed and dragged herself out of the chair. She pulled the window shade down and returned to her seat. _Stupid weather._

Just as her fingers hit the keyboard, she heard another loud crack. But that didn't sound like thunder. She looked into the hallway through her open door. Pitch black. She sighed again. She'd been at the computer so long that she'd forgotten to turn on lights in the rest of the house when it got dark outside. She started to get up again when she heard another cracking sound.

She froze. That definitely wasn't thunder! That was coming from inside the house! Her eyes stayed focused on the hallway, watching for any dangers to emerge. She stole a sideways glance at the cordless phone setting on her desk. Should she call someone? 911? She'd be so embarrassed if it turned out to be her imagination. And anyway, she could easily handle a robber.

CRACK! There it was again. She nearly jumped out of her seat. Whatever it was, it had been much louder than before, therefore it must be closer. She slowly stood up from her chair, careful not to make any noise. She took a small, careful step toward the door. Then another. Then, as her knee brushed against the bed, the bag of potato chips crashed onto the floor, all of them spilling out. "Shit!" she yelled instinctively, then clasped her hands over her mouth. _So much for being quiet._

She continued along her path toward the hall, mentally making her plans to reach the nearest light switch, which would be just past the next door. She could make it. It was so close. _What am I thinking? I'm acting like there's a monster in the house or something._

She crept down the hall in darkness, all her senses on edge. The slightest sound, smell, touch, and she would attack whatever it's source was. She was almost to the light, feeling her way by the wall. Finally, her hand came upon something rough and almost scaley. She looked toward it, but couldn't make anything out. Suddenly, lightening crashed again and a flicker of blue-ish light flooded the hall for a brief moment. But that moment was more than enough for her to glimpse what she had her hands on.

The creature was not human, she could be sure of that, although it had the basic human body structure. It stood on two legs, had two arms, and a head. But it was absolutely NOT human. Its face was all twisted, no eyes or nose to be seen, but only a huge gaping mouth filled with razor-sharp bloody teeth. There was no hair, not clothes, only a thin coat of white, pasty, scaley skin.

She recoiled immediately, crashing into the wall on the opposite side of the hall. The scream that escaped her was somewhat ill-voiced, yet it would make due. She dashed down the hall, panting and crying. Before she reached the end of it, however, she crashed into a large object, and there shouldn't have been anything there. "What the hell?!" she yelled out, standing back up. In another crash of lightening, she could see that the very creature she was running from was standing right before her! She heard a growling sound coming from behind her, a sound she'd never heard come from any animal on earth. She whirled around. There it was! The monster! Now there were two of them, and they were each walking toward her faster than a monster had ever approached a heroine in some cheesy horror flick. Kairi didn't know which way to run. They had her cornered.

_Oh, what the hell!_ She ran toward one and nearly knocked it down as she passed it, shoving it with all her might. She took off toward the room she'd been in, where there was light, a phone, and a window. Her plan: run into the room, lock the door, grab the cordless phone, jump out the window and call for help. It seemed pretty logical to her.

She reached the room faster than she expected and she quickly shut and locked the door. She grabbed the phone and ran to the window. Before she could even unlock the small latch, one of the monsters had already turned the wooden door into splinters. It ran toward her with surrealistic speed and grabbed hold of her feet. It jerked her onto the floor and thrust one of her bare feet into its mouth. The razored teeth worked like teeth of a piranha, as the rows and rows of thick, blood-stained needles moved in a circle around her flesh. She cried out, the pain more intense than anything she'd felt before. It actually felt as if it's teeth had been boiled in a pot for hours, making them scorching hot.

Around the time she'd given up hope and began to adjust to the white-hot pain, the other monster came from behind her and grabbed her arms. In one swift movement, both arms were torn from her body and thrown to the side just inches away from her face. She let out a scream of pure, unbridled terror. The monster then put it's teeth to work on the nubs where her arms once were. And as the monsters devoured her body, she finally faded into death.

"CUT!"

Kairi leaned up. "Ugh. Get this shit off me!" she yelled, prying off the plastic shoulder attachments that included her bloody nubs. "So, Mr. Director, how'd I do?" she asked with a smile.

Axel smiled back from behind his dark sunglasses and cap. He was sitting in a typical director's chair, holding a smaller version of the three big cameras surrounding the set. "Perfect! That last part was the best! Did anyone ever tell you that you look absolutely stunning while you're being maimed?"

Kairi grinned and stood up, wiping fake blood from various areas of her skin. "Really?"

"Yeah, all except for that first scream in the hall. You know, when you first see the monster? That was a little weak."

Kairi slumped against the fake computer desk. "It just takes a few minutes of being in the action for it to seem real." She sighed. "Nevermind. Can we try it again?"

Axel looked toward "Monster Number 1" who was leaning against a wall slurping coffee through a straw into the huge whole in the mask. "Hey Riku! We gotta do your opening scene one more time! Kairi's gotta do that scream over!"

Riku sat the coffee down roughly. "That's the third time today! Can't she get it right?!"

Kairi frowned. "Hey! It's easy for you to complain! All you have to do is growl and run!"

"Yeah! You don't get knocked down like me!" another voice yelled. Aerith pulled off the mask part of the full-body costume. As the taller monster, she had been chosen as the one to be visibly seen in a shot next to Kairi, to make the monster appear more threatening.

"All you do is complain! At least you get a few lines and some face-time later when you play victim number three!" Riku yelled, looking absolutely ridiculous, and very far from frightening in his "Monster Number 1" outfit.

"Would you three shut up and get on with it? Some of us don't have all day."

The three of them turned to see Leon peeping out from behind one of the huge cameras. Kairi nodded and Riku straightened his mask, grumbling as he took his place against the wall.

Axel yelled "Action!" and watched through his small camera as they tried the scene again. He looked to the head camera man to his left. "What do you think? Was the scream still weak?"

Roxas rewound the footage on a miniature monitor beside him. "A little, but she's doing better."

Axel looked to his right. "Camera man number three, let me see your footage!"

Sora looked up suddenly. "Uh... why? I thought you were using Leon's angle for this one."

"I am, but I wanna check them all anyway. Rewind your footage."

Sora seemed a little panicky as he pressed the rewind button, then pressed play. Axel watched it for a few moments, then took off his cap and whacked Sora's head with it. "You're doing it again! How many times have I told you that we do _not_ need a thousand shots of Kairi's tits? Zoom in on her face, not her chest!"

Sora's face turned red as he slid down a little in his chair. "Yes sir."

Kairi sighed and Riku slapped his forehead dramatically. "Can we please get on with this?!"

The shot was redone and it turned out perfect. The gang, which also included Demyx as the music coordinator, Yuffie as the makeup effects actist and Namine (with an auburn wig) as a stand-in for Kairi, all packed up and prepared to leave the set for home.

Axel looked at the clipboard in his hands. "You really think she'll even show?"

Kairi patted him on the back. "She'll show! She has to! She's the beautiful blonde heroine!"

"Yeah, but we've already filmed most of the scenes that just include you or the monsters. If she doesn't show again tomorrow, we'll have a wasted day."

"I told you! She'll show! She argued us to death to get the role, why would she not take it?"

Axel smiled. "You're right! She'll be here! Now lets go home. We've got a lot of work to do tomorrow. As the 'best friend', you'll be in plenty of scenes with Larxene. Plus we need to film your scenes with Cloud and Zexion."

Kairi laughed. "It'll be a blast!"

As the two of them walked off the set and toward the exit, a pair of glittering blue eyes watched them off, and a pair of supple red lips curved into a smile.


End file.
